Learning Outcome #4 And Marked First Draft Of Peer Paper

English Rough Draft 1

During my peer review process, I left comments on my peers paper suggesting multiple different ways that they can improve upon their writing. Some of these ways were local revisions and some were more global revisions. My comments can be found in the above hyperlink marked in bright red. Throughout my review of this paper I included comments for more local feedback such as grammar mistakes, bad word choices, and sentence structure. One of my comments on word choice was comment 17 where I told my peer that his word choice seemed too informal. Another local edit that I made was comment 15 where I told my peer to combine two of his sentences to make them one complete sentence, making it less redundant. An example of a global edit is commenting on ideas. I did this with my comment 16 where I suggested that my peer expand his ideas and state why he believes this. I used evidence in comment 9 when I wrote that my peer can find a lot of supportive evidence on the claim he made which I agreed with. Comment 21 is a good example of organization because I told my peer that one of the paragraphs were too long and that he should split it into two different paragraphs.

I also left a 150 word comment on this paper to explain my thoughts on the overall paper. I stated “I understood your argument overall although I think there needs to be less description of exactly what the organizations are and more specificity on what is supporting your argument. I think a shorter summary of the two articles will be helpful for you in the beginning and then possibly get into how different pieces from each, or just one of them, are going to back up what your beliefs are. Your beliefs are valid, you just need to be more specific when giving your evidence to support the claims. Backing up your claims in more specific, shortened, and organized paragraphs is going to make this a perfect paper!”