Posted on Leave a comment

Blog #8

During the revision process with help from They Say, I Say, I was able to edit two quotes from my paper to make it more understandable and concise. I changed the first quote from: EA’s believe that when creating artwork, artists “paint the beautiful landscape in front of them while the rest of the world burns.” To: Rhys Southan states, “artists paint the beautiful landscape in front of them while the rest of the world burns.” In other words, the idea of EA’s on artists creating artwork is insinuating that the artists, because they are painting, are choosing not to save the children in need. The second quote was changed from:Another way that artwork helps is by the way it brings communities together to get through struggle. Haas and Haahn talked about how during the drug war in Vila Cruzeiro, the community got close to each other. The project brought to their town gave them more opportunities to form a stronger community. One way this was done was during the many barbecues that Haas and Hahn held. They stated how they “decided to throw one almost every other week, and we got to know everybody in the neighborhood.” The revised quote was: Artwork helps by bringing communities together to get through struggle. Haas and Haahn talked about how during the drug war in Vila Cruzeiro, the community got close to each other. The project brought to their town gave them more opportunities to form a stronger community. They stated how they “decided to throw one (a barbeque) almost every other week, and we got to know everybody in the neighborhood.” Hahn is talking about how they brought the community closer together during the many barbecues that they held.

I was also able to alter one of my quotes to better support my message. The original quote was:When speaking with a friend of theirs that ran an organization in Vila Cruzeiro, he told them “everybody here would pretty much love to have their houses plastered and painted. It’s when a house is finished.” This shows how finishing the houses in Vila Cruzeiro meant a lot to the people who lived there. It was changed to: When speaking with a friend of theirs that ran an organization in Vila Cruzeiro, he told them “everybody here would pretty much love to have their houses plastered and painted. It’s when a house is finished.” In making this comment, Hahn’s friend believes the people in Vila Cruzeiro were feeling poorly about having unfinished homes and having their homes finished meant more to them. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *